#so i probably won't get to it until tomorrow
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cirilla-fiona-riannon · 2 days ago
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ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀɴɢᴇʀᴏᴜꜱ ᴡɪʟᴅᴄᴀᴛ ᴄʟᴜᴍꜱɪʟʏ ꜱʜᴏᴡꜱ ᴀꜰꜰᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ
Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies. Not proofread.
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Emma: "Prince Kagari's birthday is today?"
Townswoman: "Yes, it's become a tradition for the whole town to celebrate."
Emma: "So that's why it's so lively today."
(I had no idea it was Kagari's birthday.)
The townspeople were particularly excited, and the sweet smell of dorayaki filled the air from every direction.
Townswoman: "You should celebrate Prince Kagari too."
Townswoman: "I'm sure he'd be thrilled if someone as special as you sent him good wishes."
A woman I'd gotten to know since coming to Kogyoku flashed me a cheerful smile and gave me a gentle push.
Townswoman: "If you're having trouble picking a gift, I'll help you out!"
Emma: "Thanks, but since it's a special occasion, I'd like to come up with something myself."
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(This feels kind of weirdly pressuring. Or is it just me?)
Satisfied with my response, the woman cheerfully left after offering a few words of encouragement.
(Kagari's helped me more times than I can count since I got to Kogyoku. Whether or not I'm special to him, I can't just ignore his birthday now that I know about it.)
(Alright.)
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(Wait, what's this ridiculously long line?!)
When I packed my gift and made my way to the castle, I found the square completely packed with people who had come to celebrate Kagari.
(Swordsmen, nobles, commoners—wow, that's a huge crowd.)
At the front of the line, a striking figure with red hair caught my eye.
He was expressionless, silently receiving greetings and tributes one after another.
(Prince Kagari looks completely detached, like it has nothing to do with him. He doesn't seem happy at all.)
I stood on my toes to get a better look, and our eyes met.
(Did he just catch me staring? He's always quick to notice when someone's looking at him.)
I looked away and took cover by a nearby cherry blossom tree.
(What should I do? It's going to be difficult to celebrate with this many people around.)
(I really wanted to celebrate on his actual birthday, but maybe I should come back tomorrow. Wait, what?)
When I glanced back, Prince Kagari was gone.
Instead, his attendant was standing there, and despite not being the prince, people were still offering celebratory words and gifts.
It was a weird sight.
Kagari: "You're wide open, Princess."
(!?)
I turned toward the voice, and a hand suddenly covered my mouth.
Before I could react, he pulled me into the shadows beneath the tree, my back gently pressed against the trunk.
Emma: "Mmph!"
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(When did he even get behind me?!)
I struggled, but he effortlessly pinned me against the tree, his face now dangerously close to mine.
For a second, I thought my heart would stop.
Kagari: "Will you behave?"
I nodded frantically, and only then did he finally let go of my mouth.
But the distance between us didn't change. He placed his hands on the tree, keeping me trapped.
(Calm down, Emma.)
(He's probably just staying this close to avoid being seen by others.)
I instinctively lowered my voice, careful not to let my breath brush against him.
Emma: "Why are you here?"
Kagari: "I saw you."
Emma: "So you came to see me?"
Kagari: "You called me."
(Is that how he saw it?)
A mix of guilt and a strange, fluttering warmth settled in my chest.
Kagari: "If you were planning to stand in line, you should give up."
Kagari: "That line won't die down until nightfall."
Emma: "That long…?"
Kagari: "And at night, there's a banquet. It'll go on until dawn."
(Spending an entire day celebrating… The Yaksha of Kogyoku really goes all out.)
I was impressed, but his expression remained blank as always.
He gazed at the never-ending line of people as if it had nothing to do with him, his detached demeanor unfitting for someone being celebrated.
(I feel like Kagari doesn't care much about his birthday.)
(What if he finds it annoying that I came?)
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Kagari: "So? Why are you here?"
I instinctively looked away.
Emma: "I was just curious since there are so many people."
(I can't bring myself to say I also came to celebrate.)
I hid the bag with the present behind my back.
Kagari was silent for a while.
An awkward silence fell between us, making the noise around us feel distant.
(I hid it, but I wonder if he noticed.)
But Kagari didn't say anything more about it and just grabbed my arm.
Kagari: "Princess, will you come with me?"
Emma: "Huh? W-Wait, Prince Kagari?"
He stealthily led me toward the castle, barely giving me a choice. Once inside, he unceremoniously shoved me into a room before disappearing and returning with a large basket.
Kagari: "First, put this on."
Emma: "A hakama?"
Kagari: "Next, wrap this around your face."
Emma: "A scarf?"
Kagari: "Lastly, wear this at your waist."
Emma: "A… sword!?"
Kagari: "Tie your hair into a single ponytail."
Emma: "Um…?"
(Why are we suddenly having a dress-up session?)
I accepted each item as he handed them to me, tilting my head in confusion. But then, without hesitation, he picked up the hakama and reached for my clothes.
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Kagari: "If you don't know how to wear it, I'll help."
Emma: "N-No! I got this!"
(I have no idea what's going on, but this can't possibly be bad, right?)
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writing-zelda-brainrots · 2 days ago
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Winx Club? I haven’t heard that name in years. *slides you $20* got anymore drabbles or HC for the Links and fairy reader?
(If that’s okay to ask ofc. I loved Winx as a child and now I think you got me wanting to watch it again. I’ll never get over how stunning those girlies were 😩)
We love our beautiful and badass girls. I really hoe the reboot will do our queens justice (but I am sceptical).
I know that in the previous fic, I mentioned that [Name] had already earned their Enchantix, but I imagined them in their basic Magic Winx/Charmix form in this one.
--
This was the worst.
As if these monsters couldn't be more disgusting, you just had to get caught in a giant Skulltula's web. It was thick, sticky, stringy and stronger than it had any right to be. And you hated it. Any and all attempts to free yourself only resulten in you gatting more stuck.
Thankfully, you had just enough wiggle room to shoot a couple spells at the few remaining Skulltulas that wanted to sink their mandables into your flesh. But who knows how long it'll be until more come.
At this point, you would rather get swallowed whole by one of those "Like Likes" that Hyrule mentioned.
"[Name], are you okay?" Oh thank the Great Dragon, Wars was here. You were wondering when someone would notice that you were missing from the fight.
"Never felt better." You answered with some sarcasm. "This is so gross."
"Don't worry, I'll have you out in just a moment." He took hold of whatever parts of you weren't covered in sticky web and began to pull.
Wars was undoubtedly stronger than you, so he had a much better chance at getting you down. However, he was pulling too hard too fast and the web just wouldn't let go. It was as if he and the web were playing tug-of-war, but for keeps. Particularly, your wings and the rest of your body were being yanked in different directions. It hurt. A lot.
"Stop! Stop! You'll tear my wings off!"
It was only when you started pleading did he stop pulling. Thought he did still have half a mind to apologize.
The next brilliant idea was to cut you loose. But, to be fair, this one was much more successful. With just a few swipes of his sword, Wars had severed the bits of web holding you in place while staying away from any of your body parts. Thankfully, you were spared the fate of faceplanting onto the rocky dungeon floor when Wars caught you.
"Would you look at that, I caught a butterfly. A big, pretty one, too."
"One more word out of you and I swear I'll blast you."
"Fine, fine, just having some fun." He set you down before mentioning for you to follow. "The others must have already gotten rid of the leftover monsters on this floor."
Sure enough, Wars was right. Everyone - minus the two of you - had gathered in the middle room, each giving their reports from when you decided to split up.
"Are you badly hurt?" Time asked as he saw you coming back, pulling some loose hanging webbing from your clothes.
"I'm okay. But I won't be able to fly until I get this gunk off of me." That's going to be a day to itself.
Time gave a small nod of acknowledgement. Actually, taking a good look around at the group, they all looked pretty worn out. "We'll call it a day. Let's go back into town and get some rest. Tomorrow we clear the rest of this dungeon."
There were no objections.
--
Thankfully, the inn was quiet this evening. You didn't know how much more irritated you could be right now, especially if people were running around and causing a ruckus.
You've already gotten the web from your body, so that only left one thing. The part that you dreaded the most: your wings. Your hair had already been a painful mess to deal with, so you could only imagine what your wings would be like.
"How are you doing?" Sky's (or your self proclaimed "Flying Buddy") voice cut through the silence as he stepped through the doorway. He was probably one of the better roommates to have right now. You'd have to thank Time later for putting you with him instead of Wind or Legend.
"This web's really annoying. And it's in some hard to reach places, too." You grumbled, frustrated. "I swear, if I see a single Skulltula again, I'm exterminating the entire species."
"That bad, huh?" He cuckled a little, but stopped himself when he noticed you slightly flinch as you got another sticky chunk out. "Do you want some help?"
A sigh escaped from your lips. "You know I don't let just anyone touch my wings."
"I've had to help clean Crimson's wings many times before. I'm sure I can handle it." Sky sat down on the bed next to you.
"It's not you I'm worried about." You admitted. "I know I don't have my wings out most of the time, but they're still a part of me, and they're really sensitive."
You've long heard stories of fairies losing their wings, either in an accident or by someone destroying them. Either way, it's a horrible fate for someone of your kind. Yes, they eventually grow back, but that takes time, and it doesn't erase the fact that it was a traumatic experience or that it left the fairy vulnerable and weakened in the meantime.
"You're having trouble and I want to help. Besides, you won't be able to reach some of those places."
"You'd really do that?"
"Of course. What are friends for?" He gave a reassuring smile. "Just lay down and I'll handle it. You won't even notice I'm here."
He had a point, you supposed. Guess he couldn't do that bad of a job. You laid yourself on the bed, back facing Sky.
"Just... Be gentle, alright?"
"Promise."
--
And then, they fu-
Btw, if I have convinced anyone here to watch this show fo the first time or revisit it, my personal reccomendation is to watch the Rai English dub (you can find it on YouTube for free) because it's the most faithful of the English dubs (of which there are 5, apparently, and none of them have the entire series). I would also stop watching after season 4/the second movie. Trust me, you're doing yourself a favour by not watching seasons 5-8.
There are the Nickelodeon Specials that condense season 1 into 3 hour long specials and one that covers season 2, but I really don't reccomend them for new veiwers. Just watch the original full seasons. They butchered my precious season 2 so badly.
P.S Also, you should maybe skip the "Miss Magix" episode in season 1. It has a pretty bad scene that mocks a black woman's natural hair. It's a filler episode, anyway, so you're not missing anything.
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guinevereslancelot · 1 month ago
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starting to kind of date someone right before christmas is so stressful fr. do i get him a gift or what we've been on two dates but i'm seeing him tonight n it's christmas eve.....but what if he didn't get me anything then it will be weird.....
#i planned to try to find something small enough that i could easily carry around concealed then take it out if he got something for me#but the thing i got ened up being a bit too big for that lol#im gonna bring a big bag of gifts for all my friends maybe and then it won't be weird idk#by some miracle my mom showed me a bag of emergency gifts for the girlies and i was like cool im taking all of them tonight 😂#which was not what she intended lol#but im gonna do it#if i had time i would have gotten him something different but its good enough#he mentioned a book he hadn't read last night so would have been cool the got him that but its too late its a music hat now#if he even got me anything idk#but he specifically told me he was last minute christmas shopping so idk#i am over analyzing this for sure tho#anyway most unrealistic part of christmas romance movies is they're not anxious wondering whether to gift or not to gift#also im lowkey scared abt new years 😳#not that i wouldn't like to kiss him probably but i already have a hard time looking at him without blushing 😂#so that would make it 10000x worse lmao#also idk if i want to kiss him JUST bc its new years instead of waiting for the right moment to just happen? idk i dont wanna rush things#its not for sure we'll be together at midnight on new years idk what his plans are#but we'll see#anyway things are going well but moving faster than expected 😅#also not 100% sure i'm seeing him tonight and def not tomorrow so that might take the gift pressure off but idk#waiting to hear back abt tonight#😐😐😐#also idk why we waited until we were both on break from work to do stuff bc honestly every time we've met it's been after work hours anyway#however it allows us to stay up later than on work nights which is nice#he didn't leave my house until after 11 last night lol#anyway trying hard not to get swept up in all this while its new but fr im like oh this is what it's supposed to feel like 🥺#never been in love before every relationship i've had was awk and forced was starting to think maybe im just not capable of love#but literally cuddling on the couch watching it's a wonderful life last night i was like hm i'm definitely capable of love actually#not saying im actually there yet but it would be soooo easy to fall for this guy which is p scary actually#esp bc im not sure it would work for other reasons
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zylphiacrowley · 8 months ago
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Welp... tomorrow is last chance to get legend before DT...
Moral is low and I crave death. :)
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silent-sentinels · 10 days ago
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i need everyone to understand that i am trying my best and i hate every second of it.
#🪟#[three of swords]#sorry i just need to complain don't worry about it.#everyone hates me and if they dont they will and i am going to die because of it and they're going to kill me and i will deserve it.#sighs okay i know that's not true everyone's telling me that's not true and i know. i know. it's just the avpd i /know/.#yes we have a facet who is self awareness i know im being irrational. however i am like mental illness personified so it's. hard.#we're trying so hard. oh my god it's so difficult and our trying looks like nothing is happening and it's never going to be enough and#okay. i /know/. not true. it's constantly just spiking and then trying to calm myself down. i wish the self-awareness made it easier!#it's a constant ''[REALLY BAD THOUGHT]'' ''no it's okay.'' ''[REALLY BAD THOUGHT]'' ''that won't happen'' ''[REALLY B#having to constantly catch myself. is that normal that can't be the normal experience this is excruciating.#if it turns out im holding more than one disorder im going to. okay i'm not going to do that. but i will handle it very badly.#nothing's even happening!! but whenever i think about us talking to people i want to vomit from anxiety? but i know it's not that bad but#im a skill with too many points. im only supposed to withdraw when our social battery is overwhelmed. im meant to remind us to take time#for ourselves when we need to. and i do that. but something fucked me up. im bad now im wrong im a detriment im too overwhelmed when i#shouldn't be i just keep wanting to withdraw and our intrusive thoughts get so /bad/ because of me and all im doing is hurting the system..#im trying im trying im trying i know facets in the system want to socialize good god im trying to let them.#but also i need to walk directly into the ocean until i fucking d#NO fuck AUGH it's so hard!! okay okay that's it im sorry im sorry i just had to. talk about it. don't worry this is fine it's fine.#sigh. okay. it's okay. i'm okay. god this'll probably last until tomorrow im sorry. and i know people are willing to wait for us#they shouldn't have to they should jjust fucking OKAY someone else take over please..
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chickenisamazing · 1 month ago
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Well. 2024 ended. I lost not a pound of weight. Which means I have to confront my closet.
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protect-namine · 1 month ago
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I actually have a fic idea but lc is a show that's like. you will never ever have all the information and context until the end. and I am a writer who writes best and more confidently when I have all the info and context at my fingertips. so now I'm just like 🧍‍♂️
anyway. ramble in the tags
#mine musings#not tagging etc etc#it's an AU so it shouldn't even matter actually. but. whatever. i'll still try to write it. it'll take a while#it's more like character exploration anyway. a role reversal (my favorite kind of au)#i.e. what would the emma case look like if cxs is the one who keeps timelooping to save lg?#it's not a power swap or personality swap so i think it'll be an interesting exploration of the limits of their personalities#for example: in this au i think lg is still protective of cxs and acts as the guide. but he's closer to og!timeline lg#so i'm thinking that he's still very principled but perhaps less strict about doing small deviations from the timeline#cxs is still empathetic and reckless and i think that would actually get worse in a timelooping cxs#since he's the possessor he rationalizes to himself that he gets to shield lg from the messy parts of an operation#and how this self-matyrdom pulls at the fragile trust they have. because their partnership is never equal when someone is timelooping#i'm thinking in like the emma case this all comes to a head when emma gets the text from her parents#in S1 lg tells him “it's better not to look”#i think in this au. cxs would have already honed his acting skills and be like “lg. does she check the phone?”#and lg who is protective but a little naive and not as strict with rules is like#cxs looks so sad :( he's been missing his parents lately :( emma doesn't see the text until tomorrow but...#this probably won't change the timeline too much... right? i think cxs needs to feel loved right now :) “yes she checks her phone”#and cxs is like “... are you sure?”#lg: “yes i'm sure”#and then post-dive cxs finds out emma dies but he doesn't tell lg :) he just keeps it to himself :)#bc it's his job to handle all the messy parts :) like the emotions of their clients. their regrets and obsessions. their fates#in his mind. the more lg knows the more he tries to sacrifice himself to save cxs. so it's important that lg is kept in the dark#something something actor/scriptwriter metaphors idk still working on the idea#just. role reversal shiguang... cxs who keeps timelooping bc he has abandonment issues so he can't handle lg dying...#lg basically is like 9S from nier automata who always dooms himself by learning the truth#this could've been a read more instead of a tag essay i'm sorry. i keep forgetting that feature. i am a yapper in the tags#cxs after dragging lg out for dinner so he doesn't catch the news: “hey lg. we followed the script to a tee right?”#“i didn't forget any lines or anything?”#lg (confused) (lying): “yes. aside from getting the financial data part. we did everything right.”#cxs: “okay 😊 i trust you 😊 past or future let them be”
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girlitfeelsgood · 9 months ago
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I'm so nervous about writing an essay for the first time in two years. What if I do horribly 💀
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chloecherrysip · 2 years ago
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The final battle is over, and two worlds have been left in shambles. There’s plenty of mess to clean up, tricky questions to navigate, and important decisions to make about what comes next.
But a lot of that can wait. Mario’s first priority (as it’s always been) is his brother, even if it means pushing his own struggles to the side.
(Here's the post-movie fic I posted a week ago, now up on AO3 finally if you prefer that format or would like to save it over there! I have cleaned it up some - a slightly rougher version is still available here on tumblr. Hoping to post an update within a few more days!)
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marmolita · 8 months ago
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tardis--dreams · 6 months ago
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I actually realized i hate work. Won't be putting any effort into this anymore ♡
#sure whatever#it's funny because when i applied there i really really wanted this job#and it had nothing to do with that one person i got a little overly attached to#and when i started working there it was fine but i think really the only reason i liked it was because of that colleague#and now he's gone there's only annoying things left#also maybe i got too cuddled by him because he's always had my back until now#but i have to try to get things from the design team now and they just straight up ignore me lmao#like. my colleague asked me last week if i could ask them to edit some images which i did and they ignored me for 2 days#then HE sent them a follow up message and surprise surprise the images were there within 30 minutes#now again. he asked me to request some images and then built them into the journal#i request them. i hear nothing back. i send a follow up saying it's kinda important. i get nothing#oh well sorry man. guess you'll have to do that yourself after all (:#(i think it's really nice he's trying to give me so much more responsibility and all but if he's not there to back me up#it's literally not working because Everyone Is Ignoring Me :)))#also two weeks from now I'll be alone in our office because my other colleague who's in the same office as us#has announced she's gonna go share the office with someone else because she's gonna be alone otherwise#lol thanks#also some other shit someone posted in the group chat today which really pissed me off#AND the fact i got ignored AGAIN when i asked for work :) like bitches. i literally just watched netflix on my private laptop#while wiggling the mouse on my work laptop until i got off lmao#i won't go to the office tomorrow either#i was gonna go but i can't do shit there if i get ignored again#at least at home i can do whatever i want when they decide i should just get money for wasting my time ♡#i might actually just not work tomorrow#I'll probably log in just to see if there's any updates on the images situation but if not I'll fuck right off#fun times#(also maybe just maybe I'm generally a little negative these days. that may play into it. I'm sensing that sweet summertime blues ♡#((who cares if it's because of my father's death or because of my colleague's going away or because of general existential despair due to#university.... i'm just annoyed) )#void screams
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iniziare · 7 months ago
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Tag drop: Seele (Honkai: Star Rail). Listen, I used to write her and I miss her a bit, and also: there's Belobog people around. And also, well, she's much more interesting than people give her credit for. Also, prepare for some 'rewriting', because Belobog's pacing in specific ways kind of blew a little bit much.
#[ seele. ] we tell them 'things will be better tomorrow.' everyone knows it's a lie; but it gets them to sleep with some hope.#[ seele: ic. ] he always says 'humanity's endless conflicts'; but you don't get peace by offering everything up on a silver platter.#[ seele: inquiries. ] that's not the only thing you won't have heard of down here; princess.#[ seele: countenance. ] to all those thugs and gangsters in the underworld; i'm like a spectre always haunting them.#[ seele: introspection. ] the chief's right. sometimes a sharp blade is the only way to get people to come to their senses.#[ seele: meta. ] she got used to people losing their homes. and she got used to people losing their lives. but crying alone was useless.#[ seele: little notes. ] they only eat half their meal; throw the rest away. do they know people below haven't got enough food to eat?#[ seele: wishes. ] where there's hope: there's the will to fight.#[ seele: etc. ] a young girl smiles subtly. 'how? right here; right now; i am alone… but it feels... very lively.'#[ seele: underworld. ] what's more important than miracles; [ seele. is to protect people's hopes for miracles.#[ seele: overworld. ] oleg saw how a look of gloom passed over her tender face. 'let's go back. i don't want to come back here again.'#[ seele: sampo. ] wildfire has countless issues on its place right now. we don't need a side order of koski.#[ seele: sampo. ] so we're there; now it's real. now that you have me; do you want me still? inominati.#[ seele: bronya. ] they go their separate ways: one stepping into the light; and the other into the shadows. until one day; they meet again#[ seele: natasha. ] i learned quickly that tantrums won't get you anywhere. she knows how to give you a taste of your own medicine.#[ seele: oleg. ] i probably owe my life to the chief.#[ seele: hook. ] don't let her appetite for chaos fool you; i think that kid's going places.#[ seele: v. youth. ] everyone in the dark side of town knew that fearless homeless girl. everyone wanted to avoid that wild; stubborn rasca#[ seele: v. underworld. ] just what we all need: more lies about a world that never was and never will be.#[ seele: v. present. ] can you imagine the consequences if we told the people what happened here? they'd be devastated.#[ seele: v. future. ] ... priorities? what do you mean? are you saying rebuilding the underworld isn't one of your 'priorities'?#tag drop
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moralchampion · 8 months ago
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I'm starting to actually feel better, so now I'm even more worried about my exam tomorrow
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byanyan · 8 months ago
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the amount I've been hoarding away some of the memes I've seen on the dash over the last week or so is so not okay for someone with as many drafts as me ashfjdh
#me: i want to focus on getting through all my drafts when i get some energy back#also me: but good & juicy memes........#I'm thinking I'm gonna lean more into doing whatever the hell pleases me once I get back to writing tbh#but I'm almost definitely throwing all the drafts into a paused queue that I won't start posting until they're all finished#will I reblog a meme or two to play with as I do that? probably. almost definitely.#fresh stuff always helps get my brain going again ahdjgsg#but know that drafts will be happening!!!! I did delete some stuff but like. not enough lmfao. I have too many great threads#that I can't bear to let go of and i've kinda accepted that at this point#sorry I'm so slow y'all pls know that me taking forever to get to shit has nothing to do with how much I'm enjoying our threads#the fact that I'm clinging to them despite wanting to start completely fresh & dump everything says a lot more about how much I love em all#anyway. may or may not write tonight? I'm going with the flow tonight & rn the flow is telling me to keep reading#I finished my reread of the second book in the millennium series last night (& stayed up way too late in order to do so ahdgksg)#& I've started my reread of the third today and I just. I can't stop. it's too good.#if I find the willpower to put it down at some point I might dabble in poking at smth but. if not perhaps tomorrow uvu#(also want to note I've been marking the books through my reread with pink page flags#whenever smth really smacks me in the face with how much byan was inspired in some way by lisbeth lmfao)#ANYWAY. love u guys!!! I'm lurking & hoping you're all doing well!!! 💜💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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jemichi90 · 2 years ago
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I'm sailing the sea and we stopped in Rauma for the night. I just took a little walk around the harbor and saw so many birds!!! These photos alone have 9 different species, and there were much more that I saw.
Considering that these were taken with my phone camera, I think I got pretty lucky! :D
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anirudhpisharody · 9 months ago
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#alright these tags are super embarrassing but i needed to rant publicly so uh. you can read this but please don't perceive me too much#it is so fucking exhausting having nobody to share my life with#i have literally zero friends at this point bc ever since my grandpa died i've pretty much stopped trying to keep in touch with my hometown#friends and i cut off my 'friend' group that were racist assholes who treated me like a doormat back in october and haven't really made any#close friends at college since. and i just fucking hate that this is the same way i've felt for so many fucking years like you'd think it#would be bearable at this point and i'd be used to being alone and for a while i honestly was but it just hit me tonight how fucking lonely#i am and how tomorrow i have to keep on just doing the shit i have to do in life without anyone to talk to and share it with#other than my mom who's been pissing me off lately so i've been pushing her away too!#it's so tiring to have to go out and do things and have responsibilities everyday and not being able to share that with anyone idk it makes#it feel almost like i'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders which is SO dramatic i know#like today i wanted to talk about the stupid false alarm gas leak thing with my sort of friends in this club i'm in but i didn't get to talk#to anyone at the meeting bc everyone was just talking amongst themselves in their little groups of best friends and it just reminded me that#i don't have that and i've never fucking had that i've only ever pretended i had that#it's like all these years i've been pretending to be a person that has friends and knows how to live life normally but i never have#more than anything i just miss my friends from home bc they're the closest i've ever felt to having friends that are like family but. i#don't know how to talk to them anymore. i didn't tell any of them when my grandpa died and i think they just assumed that i've moved on so#they've probably moved on and i already know that they have their own lives and friends at their schools that are a lot more full than mine#wanna know the worst part about all of this? i just had therapy and basically told her everything's fine#and i won't meet with her again until 3 weeks from now so literally the only person i can talk to about this right now is my mom#which i am absolutely not gonna do bc she's gonna get so scared and worried for me and i can't have that rn#anyways yeah. this isn't even that big of a deal like i haven't had friends for at least the past 6 months it's not like anything's changed#i just feel extra sad about it right now. i need a distraction stat gonna go watch watch some tv goodnight#shut up hanna
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